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Friday, March 7, 2014

Top 10: Keys To Conquering Downtown


I actually wrote this article last year for a college newspaper that I was working for, but I had to revise it and make it shorter to get it published. Because of that, I decided to share the full version here with you guys. I think it has some good tips to surviving DT trips and it's a little funny as well.

1. Full-Phone Battery: You don’t want to be downtown and have your phone die on you. I mean, first off, you’re just going to feel lost without it. If you’ve got no battery, how are you gonna meet up with your friends? Send drunk texts and tweets? Get a ride home afterwards? Make sure that baby has plenty of juice before you head out.

2. People: Make sure you know people who are going downtown. Do not go by yourself unless absolutely necessary. I repeat, DO NOT GO BY YOURSELF. I’ve learned from personal experience, you always say you’re going to know someone there or assume that you’ll run into people you’ll know, but every once in a while there will be no one you know (or at least not anyone you want to talk to), and when that’s the case, you’ll end up hanging out in a corner with maybe one person you’ve met randomly down there before who you don’t even really like that much. Trust me, you do not want to be that guy, it’s no good for anyone. So make sure you have a crew to go with when you decide to get adventurous.

3. Cash: Hard to make it rain with plastic. That’s why when going dt you want to have cash to pay for your drinks with. It’s such a hassle paying with a card every time. If you start a tab, you have to hope that no one decided to go and use your name to get a drink on your card, and you have to remember to go and close it out at the end of the night and not forget your card, which is something that PLENTY of people do. No one wants to have to ride back to TTT’s on Saturday morning to ask them if they have your debit card. Your other option if you don’t start a tab is to pay for each drink separately on your card, that’s still a hassle because you have to wait for them to swipe it and then you’ve got to put you John Hancock on a piece of paper who knows how many times a night.  Another downside of cards, some bars have a minimum amount you must spend before they will let you use your card, and you do not want to have to buy your buddy a drink that you know you will not get repaid for just so that you can use your card. People also have a tendency to spend more when they’re paying with a card, and if you’re lucky enough to be using one of your parents’ cards you don’t want to wake the next morning to only find out you rang up a $690 bar tab the night before (trust me, happened to my roommate). It’s all about the Benjamins: cash is the way to go when going downtown.

4. Quarters: This one is a personal favorite of mine. Usually everything downtown cost how ever many dollars and some change, hardly ever is it a whole dollar. Take you four or five quarter when you head out, and along with your cash you can pay for your first few drinks with the exact amount before you start tipping. The reason most bars have their prices like they do is so that people will give them dollars to pay for their drinks and not worry about getting the change back. Well, we see you, Bars, and we’re on to your games.

5. Know the Scene You Want: This key is very important one, as it pretty much helps determine where you should spend your time dt. You’ve got to know what type of setting you’re looking for, and you’ve got to know which bar to go to for that atmosphere. If you’re looking for a place to kind of start off the night and get one drink and to be able to actually talk to your friends, I’d recommend TTT’s. It’s laidback, quieter, and the beer prices aren’t bad. If you’re more of a fraternity/sorority person, 356 and Loose Change are the move. You want to dance? Well, hit up Wingin’ It or 356 for the best options there. If you want a combination of hanging out and dancing, TD’s is the place to be. Knowing what type of atmosphere you want and knowing which bar to head to is a big key to having a good time dt. You don’t want to be trying to have a conversation with your friends in Wingin’ It and “Back Dat Ass Up” come on and some random girl/guy try to come and combine your two bodies in to one, you really don’t.

6. Bouncers: Meet some bouncers. Even though it may not seem like much, it’s a lot better when you don’t have to take your ID out and you can just give them a simple handshake and walk in instead. Plus, it makes you look like a bad ass. It’s good to know people.

7. Prices/Specials: As broke college kids, we don’t have money to just be throwing around, so you need to know if there’s any specials on certain nights at the bars, and also what their prices are on regular nights as well. No need to be spending extra money on a fancy beer when it’s $1 Busch Lights. No need to be buying nice beers when it’s the same price or cheaper to get house liquor. Gotta save that money when you can, and as long as it gets you drunk, who cares what it was?

8. Layout: Know where to go to get your drinks inside the bar. Figure out where that one spot is that you can get drinks faster than other people. Know that when 356 has a cash bar, it’s on the left side so you don’t have to wait so long at the main bar. Know that when the cash bar in Wingin’ It is set up, it’s in the front right corner right when you come in. My personal favorite however, is the back bar at TD’s. Not many people use it. They can make just about every drink that they can make in the front, and you can get it in half the time. Oh yeah, and they’ve got dollar shots. I’ve said this to my friends several times, “the back bar in TD’s is the key to success,” and it really is. Know where to go to save time and have less hassle downtown; it really makes it more enjoyable.

9. Half Shots: Everyone wants to look like a baller, but not everyone has baller money. You think you’re going to be a hot-shot and buy shots for you and your seven friends; then you get your bill: $42. All of a sudden you don’t feel so good anymore. The cure for this is to buy half shots. Instead of buying eight Soco Kamikazes, buy four split eight ways. Your friends will never know, you’ll save a ton of money, and you’ll still look like a baller bringing back eight shots and passing them out to everyone. Stay Scheming, shawty.

10. Ride Home: When the nights over, you really need to have a plan for getting wherever you’re going, whether that be your apartment or a lucky someone’s that you may or may not have met that night. First off, never drink and drive or ride with a person that has been drinking. If you go with a group of people, make sure y’all decide before the night starts who is driving home, because if you don’t, everyone will wind up chocolate wasted. If you’re planning to call someone to come pick you up, let them know ahead of time so that when you call at 2:15am they will actually be expecting it and answer. A taxi is also a viable option, it’s really not that expensive, just make sure you have cash. As a last resort to get a ride, choose the CatBus. It’s not a bad call during the spring and summer, but right now in the winter months, it is absolutely freezing waiting on that thing late at night. But hey, it’s still better than getting left dt and passing out on a Todaro’s bench and getting arrested.


Obviously, these tips are geared toward Downtown Clemson, but a lot of them can be applied elsewhere as well. We all know the options are limited in Clemson, but when the apartment and fraternity parties get played out, downtown can become your best friend. So if you guys pay attention to these things, I think your next dt trip will be very successful, and you will indeed conquer downtown.


Follow me on twitter @K_Mart10

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